Bah Humbug…yeah you heard me. I’m having a very hard time getting into the holiday spirit. If I could get away with it, I would cancel it. I know that the holiday isn’t about material things. But it’s expensive no matter what. As mentioned in a prior posting, everybody is pretty much getting whatever I can knit. It’s saving money but it is still not cheap. You also need to know that it’s baking season and that costs money as well. Our heat is electric and we discovered last year the hard way that is very, very expensive. Every time I hear the heat come on, I sneak around and turn it off. The outflow of money is exceeding the inflow of money and I’m almost at my breaking point. Work has me so stressed out with the need to make my numbers and then some that I’m pretty close to a breakdown. It’s the end of the year and everybody is trying to return products that they didn’t use and it is making my numbers go backwards and my heart rate go upwards. What to do? I need to make Christmas happen for the kiddo, this will be his first that he starts to “get” Christmas and the concept of Santa. The tree needs decorating, I can’t seem to get that done, the tree has been up since the day after Thanksgiving and I’ve plugged in the lights and put one crystal on. I’m trying, I really am. But, I’m scared of what will happen if I fail at work and that’s probably what has put the biggest damper on the holiday. It’s starting to keep me up at nights. Either I can’t fall asleep or I do fall asleep but wake up at 3:00 am and just lie there thinking in the dark. Hopefully things are as bad I think they might be. I am a worry wart after all.
Also shouldn’t people be nicer and more accepting at this time of year. Last few years my experience has been the opposite. People are grumpy (present company included) and demanding. In our world of instant gratification people refuse to accept that things take time. Processes have to be followed on all fronts. In part, I blame the pre-made cookie dough for the deterioration of our society. Because of this little wonder of science, people and children expect things to just appear as soon as they think of them. Want cookies? Take the preformed dough out of its little package, place on a baking sheet and voila! You have cookies. What’s wrong with the ritual of baking cookies from scratch? It shows children that things don’t instantly appear out of thin air. It forces you to think about what goes into the cookies, the time, the ingredients and the caring that someone puts into each batch. Only on rare cookie emergencies are the “fake and bake” cookies allowed in my house. I just can't do it.
Sorry for the rambling, I just needed to get this out to the universe. Wish me luck, send me good thoughts and I’ll reciprocate. If you are extremely wealthy send me money…j/k. Sort of. Don’t worry I’ll keep trying to build the Christmas spirit and hopefully by Christmas Eve I’ll be overflowing with spirit or cookies. Perhaps both.
Talk to you soon.