I must be nuts

Last week I decided to start knitting and make the hubby a scarf for Christmas.  So far it's going pretty good, I've been able to work on it during lunches at work.  I think I have a pretty good chance of finishing it and perhaps making Jacob a matching one as well.  Since things seem to be going well knittingwise, I apparently decided to press my luck.  I'm now contemplating making an afghan for my father-in-law.  What I really wanted to do is to crochet the afghan.  That means I need to teach myself how to crochet.   I've spent part of the day today trying to do just that.  I suck at it.  The few practice pieces that have been created look like giant knots.  I'm going to keep trying but in the mean time I am going back to trying to knit the afghan as a matter of fact I've actually started it.  I'm an idiot. 

I've never made anything besides a scarf and now I'm attempting two projects at a time and one is huge.  What on earth made me think that I can accomplish all this in my spare time?  I'm either an idiot or nuts, perhaps both.  But yet I feel compelled to do this.  The desire to create things has been great lately and this seems to be a good outlet.  

Well that's it for now.
Talk you later.  

An Independent MInd

We started the day with a full blown temper tantrum.  Someone didn't want to get in the car seat.  So mommy had to play the bad guy and force the issue.  Once he was in the car seat he cried and called out for Daddy the entire way to daycare.  Then he didn't want to go into daycare, so mommy picked him up and carried him into day care crying.  I'm pretty sure that Angela, our childcare provider and regular godsend thought I had tortured him.  He's usually a pretty easy going kid.  But lately he has been trying to exert a lot independence.  As a matter of fact it's 9:18 and he's sitting next to me in the chair playing with his cars.  Where he is supposed to be, is in bed.  When I tell him to do something he doesn't want to do my reply is "I'm not nay nay no more moooommmm." I'm trying to get a grip on this whole idea that the kid has a mind of his own concept.  I understand it in theory but the actual practice is stressful.  How do you convince a child to do something they have no intention to do?  Take bedtime.  How do you keep a child in bed without using duct tape?  After every escape attempt, I put him right back in bed.  He keeps trying to escape.  This will last until he finally passes out usually around 10:30.
I want him to be independent and creative, but I want control as well.  Its a bit of an issue.  Hopefully I'll figure it out.
Talk to you later.

Library night, again

Well, tonight was library night.  The last three weeks have been kind of crazy and I didn't manage to read all the books that I checked out, so this time I resolved to only check out a few books at a time.  Maybe 6 or 7, after all I started the scarf I'm knitting for the hubby's Christmas gift and won't be able to read during lunch time as much.  That was the plan anyway.  Somehow that plan went awry I managed to check out 13 books.  That means I have a little over a day and a half to read each book.  It's possible, but not likely.  I can't seem to stop myself when I'm at the library.  I just wander around browsing through the stacks and 30 minutes later I look at my bag and it's full.  That's usually my cue to go.  The pile is so tall that I'm almost embarrased to check out.  Hopefully they understand.  Well, I've got a lot of reading to do I better go.  Talk to you later. 

Sunday night, and it's quiet.

It's Sunday night, 8:00 and I have the rare occurence of my son being asleep.  My husband has a friend over and they are hanging out in the mancave (garage) and I've locked the cats out of the bedroom.  I have time to myself...it's nice.  This means I can watch tv, read, hang out on the computer and just do what ever I want without distraction.  Freedom.  It's funny I use to spend a lot of time by myself and enjoyed it immensely.  Nowadays I cannot honestly tell you the last time I went to the bathroom by myself.  I usually am leading a parade of kid and pets and even sometimes the hubby.  It's amazing how once a woman becomes a mother, she also becomes a magnet.  I wouldn't change it for anything.  But I am enjoying the quiet tonight.  

If I had known this was going to occur, I would have gone to the store and picked up some yarn.  I've had a hankering to create something.  I retaught myself how to knit a few years ago.  Real Simple (one of my favorite magazines) had an article on how to knit a scarf.  So I did.  I love my scarf it's way too big, taller than me (I'm 5'1"), but its the only thing I've every knitted.  I'm very proud of it.  I want to make one for the hubby but I never seem to be anywhere close to pick up yarn.  I also need to locate my needles.  So I am going to make a concentrated effort to pick up the materials and work on a Christmas gift for the hubby.  He's color blind, so I'm trying to figure out a pleasing color option that he can see.  I like blue and his favorite color is orange so I might do something in those colors.  He'd definitely be able to see it. Oh well, I'll figure it out.  Now I just have to start it and hopefully be finished by Christmas.  Plus, I'll have to figure out how to hide it from him...I guess I'll be knitting during lunch instead of reading. 

Well that's what's in my head tonight. 
Talk to you later.

Tyrannical Threes

My son will be three in October. This brings with it the excitement that he will now be ready for a lot of the toys you see at the store. It also seems to be bringing the added joy of the Tyrannical Threes. They've started showing themselves and I have friends who tell me the Terrible Twos were just the beginning. I went to pick him from daycare on Tuesday and it took me 25 minutes to get him in the car seat and head home. He screamed and cried the entire way home. Once there my little boy returned. Yesterday we had another tantrum where he cried, screamed, kicked and hit for about 30 minutes. My crime? Trying to put clothes on him. My husband, bless him, was able to finally do the deed and we were on our way out the door when, (and this is totally not his fault) he slipped on a spot in the floor and came up all wet. Promptly we got him back into the room to change clothes and the tantrum started all over again. I finally managed to get him in the car...in only a diaper.
I was able get him dressed outside the front of the house where he stays. After that he was his normal rambunctious self. So it seems we are heading toward a much bigger roller coaster than we were on previously. All I can say is we better buckle up tight.
Talk to you later.

Just say no to the brass and glass.

The boy was wild tonight so we decided to load him up in the car to put him to sleep. I know, I know not the best way but sometimes the most effective way to get some rest. While we were driving around our fair town, I got to participate in one of my favorite little pastimes. I like to look in peoples houses. I like to glimpse other lives and to see what they've done to decorate. Now, I've been called a lighting snob, and that might be true. But I was appalled to count 4 brass and glass foyer fixtures (it was a small neighborhood) a lot of lights were turned off but you know there were more. You've seen them they everywhere, glass fixtures bound together with brass. Your typical builder selected fixtures. I know times are tough, believe me I know. These fixtures must go, they are hideous and do nothing to welcome a person to a house. If you own one of these, immediately go directly to a lighting showroom near you and select a new more updated fixture. They come in all shapes, sizes, colors and price ranges, it's a way to express your individuality. Please help the mommies of the world who can't get their kids to sleep. Change your fixture. I like to look at pretty things.

Talk to you later.

Bad day?

The day didn't start out well. I was driving innocently enough minding my own business, just trying to psych myself up for the week. Then CRACK a rock hit the windshield. Immediately it traveled 3 inches up and 1 in down. By the time I got home the crack had developed into a large S curve halfway up the windshield. Last thing I really need or want is to spend $200 on a windshield.

Arriving at work I then proceeded to spill hot tea on my hand. Then 2 seconds after that happened I rammed my sizable booty into the handle of the oven, the pointy corner of the handle. So by 8:15 after having all this happen I had a choice to make, do I let these minor mishaps ruin my day? or do I just accept that I had a bit of bad luck and continue forward with the day? Well, I sulked for a little bit and then the hubby called. Apparently he's been buying lotto tickets and keeping them in the garage since May. Good news! We won approximately $250. There's my new windshield. After getting a glass company to honor their online quote, they are scheduled to arrive tomorrow between 9-10. Plus I'm back at my regular desk at work and actually have voicemail this week, and had a semi productive day. So i guess it wasn't a bad day after all.

Talk to you later.

I was a bad friend

I joined Facebook back in December, my motivation was that I was feeling disconnected from friends and family. For the last few years my world has been work and my hubby, then the kiddo joined us and it was Jacob, hubby and work. I had lost track of my friends and a bit of myself. So I joined, the first friend I found was one of my best friends from childhood. It had been over 20 years since we had contact, I was very excited. The reception was a bit tepid. I really wanted to get back in contact with her especially after checking out her page and getting a glimpse of her life. She had such the cool life. Husband, kids, friends, a positive outlook on life.

After the tepid response, I reached out tentatively a couple more times. And it was the same. So in order to not be a pest I've contented myself to watch her life from a far via Facebook. I realize that I can never make up for what a turd I was too her. But I'm so very happy for the terrific life she has and the person that she has become.

I started thinking about our friendship when we were kids and I understand the response. I was a crappy friend. I'm pretty sure I didn't treat her very well and underestimated her abilities in my own vain effort to build myself up. It makes me think about the person I was, as a kid growing up and I realize that I didn't like myself very much. This extended into high school as well. I was so concerned with myself that I didn't see the people around me as people. I had no empathy for them. I'm very lucky that two of my very best friends are friends from high school, I'm not sure how they managed to put up with me for so long, but I'm grateful that they have.

I hope that I become a better friend over the years. I'm not too sure that I have but I do realize a few things.

1. Never tear someone else down to build yourself up. It's a false house your are building and will never last.

2. If you can't say something nice, try your hardest to say nothing at all. I know it's cliche but that doesn't make it true. It's also something I have to work very hard at and not always successfully.

3. Try to see and realize that everyone else has their own lives and drama's. They are not characters in a play that you control.

4. Be a cheerleader for your friends and they will be one for you.

5. Just be a friend.

Friends are very important. They are the family that you choose for yourself.

Talk to you later.

Mommy must be tired.

For the last two days I've taken my almost 3 year old to day care with his shoes on the wrong feet. I'd like to tell you that Jacob has decided to start putting his own shoes on in the morning and he hasn't figured out his right shoe from his left shoe yet. That's what I want to tell you. But unfortunately, if the truth be told it was mommy. How sad is that? Mommy hasn't been sleeping much and apparently it's manifesting itself.

My reasons for not sleeping vary. For instance last night I wasn't able to get to sleep until about 11:30, the hubby came to be around 12:30. I know I looked at the clock. At 2:35 the kiddo showed up in bed, and yes I let him stay, because mommy is trying to sleep and if I got up and took him back to his room there would be a discussion and mommy wouldn't get back to bed for at least 30 minutes. At 4:00 on of the cats started howling looking for either someone to play or feed him. At 5:30 the alarm went off telling me it's time to get up. Snooze was employed a couple of times, I did finally get up at 5:50.

Now in my defense, it is usually dark at the time that I'm putting his shoes on. The good news is that he hasn't notice that mommy seems to be right/left deficient at the moment. Hopefully I will get some sleep tonight and accomplish the goal of dressing my child without minor mishaps.
Well I'm about to crash. Wish me luck.
Talk to you later.

Fantasy Garden

I have a not so secret desire to have a working vegetable garden. Trouble is I never seem to get to the point where I can get stuff ready in time. So this year I have a couple of small herb gardens. I basically have the tried and true herbs rosemary, oregano, parsley, chives, dill, thyme, tarragon, and the king of my garden basil. Most of the plants are doing pretty well, I don't think english thyme is meant for the Texas summer. Gardening is a learning experience for me. This year I've learned to give basil LOTS of room. The poor tarragon has been overwhelmed by the basil, but he's hanging in there.

I have been having fantasies of adding lots more herbs, like cilantro. I can't believe I live in Texas and didn't plant cilantro. They might revoke my Texan citizenship if too many people find out. After all you can't have a good pico de gallo without cilantro. But I also think i want to try some different varieties of basil and maybe mint. That's just the herb garden. I haven't even gotten to the fantasy vegetable garden. I have a feeling I won't have enough yard, my fantasy garden has already grown beyond the reality. Does anybody else have these fantasies? I imagine myself out in the garden harvesting my beautiful tomatoes, the vibrant peppers, deeply hued eggplants (in my dreams my husband will eat eggplant). Perhaps next year. Of course in my imagination there is no concern of drought, heat or bugs. Sometimes reality might not measure up to the dream. But then again all that fresh food, I bet it might be better.

Next year is the year.

Talk to you later.

Bad Day

So some days just suck! There is no way to get around it. At my place of employment there has been a lot of upheaval and change. I don't deal with change the best and my personality suffers because of it. So it was brought to my attention to basically shape up and tow the company line with relish or go home. I've decided to tow the company line. I'm going to be the ultimate company girl. The thing is I'm frustrated and scared. I'm scared that I can't handle the work load. I'm frustrated because I expect myself to be able to handle it without letting people know how stressed I am. I'm failing at that by the way. Today was a crappy day, and I basically had a mini meltdown. Hopefully, it won't affect my being employed. Because I'm pretty sure I got it out of my system and I will go back to being the somewhat normal person that I want to be.
Or at least I can fake it.
Talk to you later.

The Boy Hates to Sleep

I have a son that hates to go to sleep and today was no exception. Weekends are the worst. Today he went without a nap. Let me tell you an almost three year old who hasn't had a nap can be a terrifying opponent. Today alone we've had hyperactivity, manifesting itself as a one man Tonka truck race through the house. We've had him crying at the drop of the hat, especially when mommy takes away the "toys" he shouldn't be playing with, like my box of books on tape. I'll have to resort all of them, something I'm not looking forward to. To just plain stubbornness, of course that part is probably normal. If this had been a normal night I would have started the bedtime ritual around 8:00 and usually he would finally crash around 10:00. Tonight we took the easy way out and took him for a ride to go to bed early and he was out by 8:00. I don't advocate this but once in awhile a momma needs her sleep.

Run Jimi Run

There was a major power shift in our home almost 3 years ago. Three years ago our home was ruled by the fur people that we served. But of course that changed when we had the kiddo. I feel for the animals. We have 3 cats (Jimi, Snoopy, Ginger) and 1 dog (Zsa Zsa). As often happens, when children are born the pets usually become secondary concerns, we still feed them and love them but their concerns aren't as pressing as they once were. What's worse is that Jacob loves, loves, loves the cats. So much that I'm scared that he will love them to death if we don't keep an eye on him. Jimi seems to be the main recipient of this overly zealous affection. Jimi is an former pet shop cat who is exceptionally sweet tempered who has never hurt a fly.
The other cats will scatter the second they hear Jacob heading in their direction. JImi gets this dear in the headlights look and becomes a statue. It's as if he's thinking if I don't move, he won't see me. Unfortunately, there is nothing wrong with the boy's eyes. He sees Jimi and is like a magnet to steel. There have been a couple of instances when I'm in one room and I hear something being dragged across the floor (we have no carpet in the house), when I go to investigate I find poor Jimi being dragged across the floor by the tail. I can't figure out why he won't run. When we see Jacob lock on to the poor cat, we try to get Jimi to run and if that doesn't work we are trying to teach Jacob to be gentle and it works for a while. But then he gets excited and wants to hug Jimi or have him sit in his lap and the poor cat just sits there waiting for his torture to end.
Hopefully this torture will end soon for Jimi.

John Hughes

I was saddened to hear about the passing of John Hughes today. His movies helped to define my generation. I think most kids growing up in the 80's could identify with one or more of his characters. While my favorite of his movies was Sixteen Candles, I most identified with Ally Sheedy's character in the Breakfast Club. Often, I felt like the outsider who was overlooked and at times unpleasant, who was jealous of the others. I couldn't see that the people I was jealous of were often very similar to myself. I'm happy to say that I've matured since then and perhaps John Hughes is partly to thank for that.

Maybe I'll pick up a copy of Sixteen Candles this weekend.

Talk to you later.

Library Night!!!!

I'm a big reader and I've started to go to the library every three weeks to get a bunch of books to hopefully be able to finish by the time the cycle is up.

I love the library, it's one of my favorite places to go, my sanctuary. It's probably the only time I get 40 minutes to an hour all to myself. Nobody want's anything from me at this time, except for my library card. My excitement is usually palpable during the day, waiting for 5:00 so that I can go straight to the library from work. It makes me happy, and even better it is FREE!

When I say that it's a bunch of books, I mean that I usually get around 11 - 13 books. Depending on the book and my preference at the time I can usually get through most of the books. I'm a fairly fast reader and usually read during lunch and before bed at night.

As far as the genre of books that I read, I'll read just about anything but tend to lean towards series mysteries. I like to get to know the characters. I also enjoy books that make me laugh, humor is very important to me.

So here are the selections from this trip to library:

Hex Marks the Spot
Madelyn Alt

A Charmed Death
Madelyn Alt

Curing the Blues with a New Pair of Shoes
Dixie Cash - New author to me

Good Luck
Whitney Gaskell

Pushing 30
Whitney Gaskell

Murder of a Royal Pain
Denise Swanson - I really enjoy this series. I love small town mysteries. You get to know everybody.

The Fourth Bear
Jasper Fforde - I've read the first in the series The Big Over Easy, this definitely fits into the mystery/humor category

Thursday Next in Lost in a Good Book
Jasper Fforde

This Charming Man
Marian Keyes - She is a great Irish author who infuses a lot of humor into her books. Her books on the Walsh girls are really good.

The Other Queen
Philippa Gregory - Historical fiction, a friend of mine has turned me on to some historical novels lately, a bit of departure for me, but I've really enjoyed them.

Between the Bridge and the River
Craig Ferguson - I love Late Late Show when I'm able to stay awake. When I saw this I just had to check it out.

To Say Nothing of the Dog
Connie Willis - Same friend that turned me on to historical fiction inspired this selection. She's reading Doomsday book, but my library didn't have it.

Compulsion: An Alex Delaware novel
Jonathan Kellerman - I really enjoy his writing, both he and his wife Faye Kellerman are a couple of my favorite authors.

If anybody has any suggestions on authors or books, I'll be happy to check them out (pardon the pun). Hopefully I've inspired you to pick up a book or two. Maybe even you've discovered a new author, that would be cool.

Well off to read a book.
Talk to you later.

Question of the day.

So the question of the day is...How much wood can a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Yes, that's right...I have no clue what to right about, so I've decided to have a question of the day instead. Actually I'm tired of being depressing so I've decided to lighten the mood just a bit. Did it work? Did you at least crack a smile? A tiny one? Okay if that didn't work here is a joke.

What did the meatball say to the spaghetti?


Wait for it...


Nothing meatballs don't talk.

So on that note.
Talk to you later.

Sundays

Sundays are interesting days. Sometimes they are the only day I have off so it's a tiny refuge in a sea of working days. I can usually relax most of the of the day. In the evenings I watch WKRP and now Barney Miller. But as the economy shows more signs of sucking, my Sundays are becoming anxiety ridden, I either can't eat or eat too much. My brain starts thinking about work and the changes that are happening, layoffs, job re allocations, taking on more work when it's already impossible to keep up...you get the idea. My brain also starts up about money or rather the lack of...what bills to pay, can we put one off for a few day? Where is the money going to come from? I don't sleep very well anymore most days but Sunday night are the worst. Usually its around 2 before I pass out and then I have to wake up at 5:30 to start the cycle of work, home, work, home all over again. I'm just plain scared of whats to come. I don't see that its getting better no matter what the news says. So far in my industry it is getting worse. Lighting is one of the last things to go into a home, so we are one of the last to feel the pinch and will be one of the last to recover. So here's to hoping that I can hang on till then...wish me luck. And good luck to you as well.
Talk to you later.

My new obsession

I have an obsession. I am on Facebook and at first I avoided the games, I'm 37 years old and figured it's time to stop the games, I haven't pulled out my gamecube for years. But then I saw several of my friends were doing it. Obviously, if I wanted to be cool and be part of the in crown I should at least take a look at it...right? So I signed on to play Farmville. At first I wasn't so sure. But see, I didn't get the garden I wanted this year so I've have this itching to grow something and that itch has slowly taken over and now I'm one big chicken pox. I'm a Farmville farmer and I am constantly checking on my crops. What's worse I have also signed on to FarmTown as well. I now have two farms to manage. But see they are something that I can control. If I'm stressed out I can go check on my crops and there they are waiting for me to take care of them with very little effort, just a few clicks of a mouse and they are ready to go. No surprises...no snakes, bugs, 105 degree heat, humidity. The only drawback I see at the moment is I don't get to revel in my harvest. No tomatoes for my salad, no squash for my quiche, no eggplant to frighten the hubby and child away from the table. But for now it's seems to be enough.
I have a friend who has also fallen prey to the temptations of FarmTown, it seems to be good therapy for her. I only hope it can help her get through this tough time. She was one of the ones let go yesterday at work and it just sucks. But she is a very neat individual who will survive and I'm hoping that she'll find something that will nurture her creative side. I think that is part of what she gets from FarmTown. A way to create something that is an expression of her.
Well I have to get back to my crops...the rice will be ready to harvest any minute..
Talk to you later.