Monday, October 19, 2009

Sometime's mommy wants a beer.

Friday was a rough day.  Work and stress had me in tears by 9:00 am.  By the time the work day was over my only thought was to get home and be with my family and to have…a beer.  I’m not a big drinker.  I have nothing against it, it just doesn’t work out very often that I’m in a position to just sit relax and enjoy a beer.  The hubby buys me a 6 pack of Corona light about once every 6 months or so and usually I’ll end up drinking maybe half of them before I figure they go bad.  (if you get grossed out you might want to skip the next few paragraphs)

Friday night, we finished dinner, the dishes were done.  Jacob was in his room playing quietly.  Now was my chance.  I retrieved a bottle from the fridge, poured it into a glass and sliced up a lime for it.  Took one look at my drink and started to take a drink.  Before the glass got to my lips I hear “Honey the cat yucked up in our bathroom, would you clean it up?”  (I have less of a gag reflex for this stuff than he does).  So I head towards the bedroom and Jacob comes running down the hall.  It took a second to recognize that he was covered in poop.  He hadn’t had a BM in a couple of days and I was expecting a big one.  What I wasn’t expecting was a total nuclear BOOTY BOMB.  It was everywhere. He had pants on and it was inside and outside.  It went completely down both legs.  At some point he had stepped in it and was making little foot prints on the floor.  The hubby decided to take the floor and I took the boy.  He was stripped and placed in the tub where he was so freaked out he cried the whole time.  The pants where thrown away.  Once he was clean, I checked the floor and found more that was missed, I followed the trail to his room and found a lot more.  Sheets were stripped, comforter was washed, and floor was cleaned some more. 

After all this occurred, I went back to my original plan of cleaning up the cat yuck.  Located the original and some additional of that as well.  Cleaned it up and found some more of “The horror”.  Cleaned up some more.

So and hour and a half had passed and I suddenly had the thought.  “Didn’t I have a beer?”  I went back to the kitchen to get my beer and it wasn’t there.  So I searched the house to see if I left it somewhere else.  (I often put things down and forget where they are).  After about 15 minutes of searching I went and asked the hubby “Have you seen my beer?  I can’t remember where I left it.”  “I put it in the freezer for you so it wouldn't get warm”   A very sweet gesture.  So I headed to the kitchen and was waylaid by the kiddo to come play, so off to his room we traipsed and had a grand time for about 20 minutes. 

It soon became clear that the sheets and comforter weren’t going to be dry in time for bedtime.  So we decided to take him for a ride to see if he would drift off.  Well, we didn’t take into account that it’s allergy season and he’s coughing, so after driving for about 45 minutes we decide to head back to the house and give him a breathing treatment.  After that he was worn out from all the excitement, so we let him drift off to a Spiderman DVD in our bed.  At that point I remembered.  “I had a beer”.  So off to the freezer, I opened the door, took my drink out of the freezer and went to see the hubby in the “man cave”.

“Hi honey, look I have a beercicle.”

I never did get that beer.

Talk to you later.


  1. Wow! What a night.

  2. I am laughing--really nothing else you can do. I'm so sorry :)